Everyone in a relationship should read this!

I just ran across this article. It is wonderful. It is great advice for men and woman in relationships. Read it. Take it to heart. Apply it to your relationship.

http://www.oddcrunch.com/divorced-man-words/0

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And my own little tid-bit of advice…. Β If it’s not the best thing that’s ever happened to you, it’s not worth it.

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Why get married?

You know, before I was married several people, including my parents, asked me Why get married if I don’t believe in God. I found this insulting. Because I am an Atheist, I’m not suppose to marry?!? Screw that! I got tired of trying to explain it, so I wrote a little “essay” about it.

I decided to come share it here with you guys. Hope you like it. πŸ™‚

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I was recently asked, “Carolyn, If you don’t believe in God or organized religion, why get married?”

First, Β I would like to say that marriage predates religion to a time long before we even have documented proof.

Nature is a good place to look, as creatures of many species mate for life. In ancient Greece and Rome marriage had nothing to do with religion or government. If two people agreed to be married, they held a ceremony with witnesses for legal purposes and that was that. The ceremony itself was secular.

It was only later that religions gained social control over the β€œinstitution of marriage”. They don’t have complete legal control of it however, as demonstrated by the marriages that still happen in government offices with two signatures and a witness. Religions did not invent marriage, and it has generally always been possible for couples to marry without involving religious institutions.

Religious involvement with marriage dates back to the middle ages, or even earlier. Since then, as dark-age superstition was replaced with reason, and marriage became a matter of love rather than inheritance, it has become more of a civil matter. Religion still maintains a grip on marriage, just as it continues to assume itself as the only truly moral arbiter, pontificate about education, and trying to influence the legal system. It is fine if people want to believe silly things; it’s another matter entirely when they try to influence the rest of us.

There are still some things society gives married couples (in addition to higher taxes- which highly pisses me off and is a whole other topic in itself!) that they don’t give people who are married in every sense of the word except for having a signed license. On a day to day basis these aren’t important – but need your spouse’s medical insurance, need to be the one to make life and death decisions if there is an accident, need spousal social security benefits, don’t have a will – usually things you don’t need until a crisis – and that little useless piece of paper becomes priceless. No one likes to think about things like that, but it is a reality. If I were in the hospital on life support Ceelyn would not be able to make “the call” if we are not “legally married”. And I can honestly say, Ceelyn knows me (and my wishes) better than anyone on this earth; so of course I want him to be able to make those kind of decisions for me should the need ever arise.

I could go on and on to prove my point here; but the bottom line is, we are each one half of a whole. Ceelyn and I are in love. I want the world to know that he is mine and I am his. Until death do us part! I want to be Mrs. Patterson and religion has nothing to do with it!
To marry is to announce to society that you are a team. I think that the marital vows are even more moving to an atheist than to a theist – after all, an atheist knows that ’til death do us part’ is all the time that we have. To give yourself to one person for your one and only life is a powerful commitment.

I love to see an elderly married couple – a couple who’ve been married for many years and who are still together. Such a couple speak volumes about commitment, sacrifice and the solidity of love in a changing world. Such a marriage is an ideal – not everyone can achieve it – but the fact that I do not believe in a god does not prevent me from wanting or seeking that ideal.

~Carolyn